Nobody Likes a Dead Cat

I can’t get into my Gmail. Gmail notifier says I have THIRTY TWO emails sitting there waiting for me, but it won’t load. I am grouchy about that. Maybe I’ll try using *gag* IE instead of my beloved Firefox to check it out. We’ll see what happens.

I am watching the Diana concert on VH1 right now and didn’t really mean to start watching it, but now I’m hooked. I don’t even like PDiddy and am actually really happy with his performance right now. I can’t imagine being Prince William or Harry and being there to watch this. I would be bawling.

I saw POTC: At World’s End on Friday night with Mr.E.. I loved it. I almost cried. Then I was introduced to some of Mr.E.’s friends later who were great people and I really enjoyed myself. I should probably write an NC-17 post about the events that occurred later because I have to share them with somebody and that somebody gets to be you!

I saw Willie Nelson last night. It was simply the. most. amazing. concert I’ve ever seen. I was blown away. I am going to write an entire post about it because I was inspired by Willie Nelson. That man is intense and impressive.

I have tried FOUR times now to copy Blue Monday and share 13 random links I have bookmarked but WordPress continues to spaz each time I do so you’re getting a to-do list anyway. *nods*

13 Things I’ll Do Before Thursday 13, VIII
1. sew more curtains for work (I’m almost done with the Ambassador Ballroom’s curtains but still have the Champion & the Blue ballrooms to do.)
2. see Mr.E. He actually asked me on a DATE for tomorrow night so we’re going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: World’s End and having a late Happy Hour tomorrow night.
3. see Willie Nelson in concert … at the Clark County Amphitheater on Saturday night with friends. I’m VERY excited about this!
4. hang out with my best friend MamaDee and her BabyDee (and probably DadDee) on Sunday night for dinner. She needs some entertainment and I need some lovin’ from my best friend!
5. Visit Cute Overload at least five times. I love that website and it always makes me smile!
6. go grocery shopping; I haven’t done this since I moved and I am OUT of food … time to grocery shop
7. call to get my contact prescription so I can ORDER more eyeballs
8. call ScubaSteve just to check in
9. start planning to sew my own curtains! Yes, I’m getting ambitious!
10. clean off my desk
11. double-check when I get to register for classes that start September 24th
12. burn photographs to CDs so that my laptop runs a bit faster
13. make a pro’s & con’s list about the boys that I’m currently dating & stuck between

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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These are the photographs of my new house. It was a mess when I took the pictures and it’s actually really clean now. I had to do something to destress myself yesterday evening.

Today I worked 11 hours. I sewed 11.5′ (yes, FOOT) panels to make custom curtains for the ballrooms. These curtains are custom-made … custom-made by ME. I rock at the sewing machine (straight lines, at least) today. And tomorrow. And probably Thursday and Friday as well. I am exhausted but it was productive and made me feel like I really was doing something.

I’m still in a dark place but am taking the itty-bitty beams of light I can find and stretching them out.

Edited to add: Oh, and I have the SOREST boobs ever tonight. NEVER have my boobs been this sore. SERIOUSLY. They are also more swollen and the biggest I think I’ve ever seen them. EvAr. Double-you tea eff, mate!?!? I wanted PMS on top of everything, I really did. *nods*

*le sigh*

I am doing things quite uncharacteristic of my normal self and I don’t know how I feel about it. I have noticed myself becoming jealous of people, and I’m not normally an envious woman. This makes me wonder. I want to do one thing but find myself doing another. It’s not me. I find myself ignoring phone calls and pretending that they haven’t been bothering me. I have to talk myself into going out and being social and putting on a mask while I’m out. I was a wiz at this mask-game while I was married and miserable. Now I’m single and wearing the mask … pretending that I’m enjoying it all. Well, I don’t think that I am. I am watching the calender and beginning to realize why this is happening, though.

I am four days away from the could-have-been 4-year-anniversary of my marriage. That makes me want to curl up in a ball and shut myself off from the world. Then, to top that all off July 11th will be the one-year anniversary of TheEx suddenly leaving me. I am NOT looking forward to dealing with all of this. I am re-reading entries in my journal that I wrote the week that he let me and I’m crying again. I’m not ready for this to be a year old. I’m not ready.

Thirteen of My Favorite Pieces of Art

1. Jack Vettriano’s The Singing Butler - I own this one; my parents bought it for me for a wedding gift and even though the wedding didn’t last, this piece of art always makes me happy

2. Jack Vettriano’s Dance Me To the End of Love - I own this one; it was another wedding gift from two married members of my wedding party. MrsDesigner wrote something amazingly beautiful on the back about our love lasting longer than the sands of time, and it makes me cry to re-read it, but this piece of art WILL dance me to the end of love.

3. Jack Vettriano’s Back Where You Belong - I own this one; TheEx gave it to me for a birthday present one year. (Do you see a theme with these yet?) I always hang this one near the door of where I live. One day I will be lifted up by my man like this and be back where I belong.

4. Jack Vettriano’s The Watlzers - I own this one; TheEx gave it to me for the last birthday that I spent with him. It is beautiful and I love to dance, so I am happy with this one.

5. V. VanGogh’s Starry Night - has always been in my favorites list … one day I will own a huge print of this and hang it somewhere special.

6. M.C. Escher’s “Three Worlds”; look, you really can see three worlds in this piece!

7. Georgia O’Keef’s White Rose & Larkspur; yes, all her flowers look like vaginas, but hey, they’re gorgeous vaginas! (Wow, I can’t wait to see my searching stats for this line!)

8. Ansel Adams’ Oak Tree, Sunset City; inspires me and my own tree-photography. Gorgeous tree.

9. The Great Wave at Kanagawa; I’m not normally a fan of this style of art, but I would never turn away owning this piece for my bathroom.

10. Steve Hanks’ Take Five; I danced ballet for a couple of years and so ballet art always draws me in. This piece makes me want to dance again, and then take five to rest. : )

11. Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen; this is my favorite song in my entire life. I can never get enough of this song, listen to it all the time, and even love most of the covers that are done by other artists.

12. Fleetwood Mac; my favorite band of all time. I listen to them while I’m driving, while I’m reading, while I’m writing, while I’m getting ready to go to sleep, anytime is time for Mac!

13. Roots by Alex Haley; amazing book. It’s one of those books I can read over and over and over again. I’ve never watched the movie version because I must keep my own Kunte Kinte in my head.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

MissZoot (who is really a MRS) didn’t really tag me, but she posted this and it made me laugh, so I decided to tag myself from Zoot.

FIVE Things I’d Never Change About Me
1. my eye color; growing up I wanted green eyes, but I’ve really grown into (and grown to love) my blue eyes. I would absolutely change their strength (I wear glasses and HAAAATE them) but I do like my dark blue (with little white people dancing in them) eyes.

2. my foot size; I wear an 8 or 8 1/2 and it works for me. Sometimes I have trouble finding shoes that I love and that are still in stock, but I can normally wear my friend’s shoes since I have average-sized feet!

3. my ability to learn; I love to learn, am always learning, and will never stop learning. I pick up languages with no problem, I can handle math when it’s well-explained to me, I can teach others what I’ve learned, and I think my brain is pretty cool.

4. my friendliness; I was telling Mr.E. last night that EVERYONE talks to me. I can be in line at the grocery store, on a bus that’s two hours late, in a rush at the airport, or ordering food inside Wendy’s and people will start talking to me. Little kids love me, small dogs don’t leave me alone, and I have made friends with ALL of my aged neighbors already. EVERYONE talks to me, and I like it.

5. my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual strength; I am a strong woman. I can do anything I set my mind to and I WILL accomplish my goals in life. I have been emotionally hurt, physically sore, and spiritually down before, but I pick myself back up and put myself back together. I’d never give this strength up!

My good buddy Mal tagged me so now I have to share 7 Random Things About Me!

1. If I had the Game Show Network in my cable package, my television would rarely leave the channel. I love game shows … LOVE. GAMESHOWS.

2. I won a spelling bee in the second grade. I am still very aware of how things are spelled and it bothers me to find things that people misspell.

3. I live with multiple mental illnesses. I live with chronic disthymia, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and will always be healing from both anorexia and bulimia.

4. I take medication to help me with my illnesses and if people start shit-talking about mental illness, I am the first to speak up and let them know that they’re idiots.

5. I want to be married again. I want to have a child. I want to be a stay-at-home-mom for a while. I want the white picket fence. I lie about that a lot.

6. I swear like a sailor when I’ve been drinking. I also belch like a man, sit with my legs uncrossed, and am generally quite obnoxious. I think I’d make a good guy sometimes.

7. I love to read Mom-blogs. I love to hear about their kids, read their children’s words out loud (today I laughed out loud while I read Notes From The Trenches) and see what hopefully I’ll get to look forward to in my future.

I’m supposed to tag people, but I don’t really know who all reads this, so if you WANT to do it, leave me a comment and I’ll edit the entry to tag you and make sure people see your name on my site!

I’m stealing internet from a neighbor. I have survived two nights alone in my new house and already love it. I live in the land of cardboard boxes right now, but seem to be making progress. Tomorrow my own internet comes (and hopefully it’ll come with a hot internet hooker upper guy, too) and I’ll have a telephone and cable TV then, too. For now I live with fuzzy TV and stolen internet.

I went on a date tonight. The guy, Mr.R was very kind, quite a gentleman, bought me my dinner (butternut squash ravioli in a warm balsamic raspberry sauce) and my beer and he was funny. He is a former Marine corpsman and I think, that if he calls me, I will go out with him again. Maybe this dating thing won’t turn out to be so bad.

Work is still going well … I programmed phones and impressed one of my bosses today … so that was good. It may be two weeks, though, before I start in on my “regular” (7am-3:30pm) hours. That’s okay for now. I will survive.

My entire body hurts from moving and then from a Pirate Pub Crawl (there are pictures, but the camera is with MissBuckeye still) on Saturday night. Gay men can sure dance … I heart gay men. : )

What else? Not much else is going on … just kinda settling in to a new routine in my new house with my new life. It is proving to be new and exciting! *mwah*

I pick up my keys in three & a half hours. I am THRILLED by this fact. I am going to load up my car and take some stuff over tonight. Then I’ll come home, re-load my car and take ANOTHER load over. What an exciting Friday night I have planned!

My parents are diving up tomorrow morning to meet me at 10am with two of their big (read: ginormous) trucks AND one of their trailers to move me. They wanted to get me moved in ONE run and I’m really happy about that. I’ll come back to clean, but all my stuff will be moved quickly! Yay!

I haven’t showered yet … but will do that before I get my keys tonight … even though moving is going to make me sweaty! Oh well. I also have a bit of a headache … probably from my allergies as the dust from all these boxes that are around.

Do I have any artists (drawing/painting) who read my blog?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On a much sadder note, a fellow blogger lost her son this morning. Liam and Ben (yes, twins) were born early and have been struggling for the past month, and Liam died after a surgery and a night of cuddling with his family. The first candle I light in my new home will be for Kate and her family.